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#793802 - 02/06/10 11:34 PM
Young Love
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Kevin Emmrich
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 02/24/07
Posts: 6258
Loc: Crozet, VA
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Hello, quite the experimental piece for me. I decided to "wing" a bass part and then built an entire song around that -- pretty scary for me. I also did all the percussion on my roland spd-20 module with drum sticks. No guitar work at all. Sort of an early Rickie Lee Jones type piece. Well, the bass line's not as good, the melody isn't as good, the percussion is off a little and the singing nowhere near as good -- besides that it is spot on!
MP3: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8730210
or 256kbs at http://www.jkt9000.com/html/02_YoungLove.mp3
Kevin
***************************************
Young Love
(c) Emmrich 2010
(verse 1)
hey girl by the soda machine
don't go away, I just got here
new in town and new on the scene
just want to say that I want you near
you want me and I want you
let's get started and we'll all be cool
(chorus)
Young love
maybe it's the first time
young love
and maybe it's not
Young love
running out of time
Young love
always running hot
(verse 2)
Little Joe's dancing by the side of the road
he's got his eyes on a honey, but no one else knows.
Maybe another shot of courage will help
or maybe he'll send her just a sneaky little text.
(chorus)
Young love
maybe it's the first time
young love
and maybe it's not
Young love
running out of time
Young love
always running hot
Edited by Kevin Emmrich (03/06/10 07:08 AM)
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#793807 - 02/07/10 12:49 AM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Kevin Emmrich]
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Ian Ferrin
Serious Contributor
Registered: 04/21/06
Posts: 693
Loc: Close to WalMart
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Hi Kevin,
I like your idea.... basically a cool bass and vocal interchange.
The vocal is remarkably good and has just the right vibe.
It doesn't work rhythmically to my ears. Sorry. A tune like this has to have a cool groove to work. The rhythm just breaks down too many times. I really think you probably gotta start over. It might be because you started with the bass. I'd suggest making your drum track 1st, then adding the bass.
I think you've got that makings of a really cool tune here but it needs some rhythmic attitude. Sorry.
Peace,
Ian
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#793819 - 02/07/10 01:28 AM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Ian Ferrin]
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Charlie Wong
Serious Contributor
Registered: 04/21/01
Posts: 1256
Loc: Hawaii, USA
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Cute ditty, would suggest going up a few notes on the chorus to further differentiate it from the verses. Also perhaps a rising note line on the last line of each verse to lift into each chorus.
Liked the line about "shoot her that sneaky little text", thass how kids really do things nowadays...(I should know, I got a 13-year old!).
_________________________
Best Regards and Aloha,
Charlie
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#793917 - 02/07/10 11:42 AM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Charlie Wong]
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Scott Campbell
Top 10 Poster
Registered: 07/22/05
Posts: 9036
Loc: Lakeland, FL, USA
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Hi Kevin:
I think it's got potential. Agree with Ian that it probably needs retracked from scratch.
Lyrically, with only two verses it seemed a little funny to have the first one in the 1st person and the second in the third person. I think either verse would work with the chorus but I'm thinking you should pick one approach and stick with it. I prefer verse 2 but that's probably just because that's the kind of thing I prefer. 
Worth working on, imo...
Scott
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#794147 - 02/08/10 07:36 AM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Scott Campbell]
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Kevin Emmrich
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 02/24/07
Posts: 6258
Loc: Crozet, VA
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OK, I didn't re-track anything, but I moved stuff around in the stereo field and eliminated a few of the off-beat claps. I thought they sounded cool when I did 'em, but they just helped muddy it up a little more. I think this one is definitely for the headphone crowd!
Ian: Oh well, I tried (ha, ha). I think you are right -- gonna be tough to get that right groove, though. I am just not good/experienced enough on bass and percussion. Thanks for stopping by and giving the good comments -- it is appreciated!
Charlie: Good idea on the chorus, I'll try that out (after RPM/FAWM!). I have a 13 year-old also. She only made it a little while through the song -- "Too much going on!"
Scott: I knew I was doing that 1st person to 3rd person switcheroo, but I did it anyway. I'll have to re-write that first part I think. Thanks for the visit.
Kevin
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#794170 - 02/08/10 09:10 AM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Kevin Emmrich]
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Ian Ferrin
Serious Contributor
Registered: 04/21/06
Posts: 693
Loc: Close to WalMart
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Ian: Oh well, I tried (ha, ha). I think you are right -- gonna be tough to get that right groove, though. I am just not good/experienced enough on bass and percussion. Thanks for stopping by and giving the good comments -- it is appreciated!
It's a cool tune Kevin. You can do it!. One word - Cheat! Use loops or quantize your drums. Nowadays most DAW software will quantize your audio too. The bass wouldn't be that hard to fix, I'm pretty sure.
Peace,
Ian
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#794337 - 02/08/10 10:20 PM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Ian Ferrin]
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Stan Loh
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 08/08/02
Posts: 2145
Loc: Burnaby, BC, Canada
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Interesting experiment! I like the groove.
I wonder if the key sung by you is to the key of the bass. Something's missing! But I can't tell you what...not key co-ordinated?
Stan
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#794369 - 02/09/10 04:26 AM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Kevin Emmrich]
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Michael Zaneski
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 07/30/06
Posts: 2923
Loc: California
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HI Kevin,
This to me is a great example of how to write something fresh sounding by improvising "the entire studio" --in that you've got a lot of great parts that don't quite congeal--but who cares? you can ALWAYS redo the demo! You've written something very cool, by forcing yourself down a new path, and THAT'S why, to me, this is compositionally so good! Every line is full of life and excitement--the fact that it all doesn't come together is more about how working this way was totally new to you, but the good that comes from this, is that...when we "force" ourselves out of our normal comfort zone, often times, startlingly good things result, and in this case that is most definitely true!
Mike
_________________________
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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#794639 - 02/10/10 09:19 AM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Kevin Emmrich]
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Tom Shea
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 2866
Loc: Nebraska
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Kevin, you knock me out - again. This is fun and solid.
Tom
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#794713 - 02/10/10 01:11 PM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Tom Shea]
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Ken Damkier
Serious Contributor
Registered: 11/18/09
Posts: 222
Loc: Denmark
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I like the mood and the whole concept.
Cool simple lyrics.
I agree that the bass is a bit out of context, but the song is wort working on. Keep the spirit from this track.
Ken
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#794847 - 02/10/10 07:05 PM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Ken Damkier]
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Ricki E. Bellos
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 3104
Loc: Wisconsin
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HI Kevin,
Sounds like a great beginning, something to come back to when the dust settles! I like the feel overall, but the bass didn't seem to be in sync with the vocal. Were you listening to the bass when you laid down the vocal track? It's almost like you were singing to something else? Can't explain. Still cool.
Ricki
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#794917 - 02/10/10 10:02 PM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Kevin Emmrich]
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Little_stevie_b
Serious Contributor
Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 1843
Loc: Hickory, North Carolina USA
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Good potential there Kevin. I gotta agree with Ian that it seems a bit disjointed rhythmically. I really think you could make something good out of this one if you choose to work on it more. I can hear a good tune in there but it's kind of distracting as is to my ears but that's just me. If nothing else it's a good exercise to build from the bass up and see what you come up with. I think the percussion is what throws it off. Still and interesting listen.
Your bud,
Steve
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#795878 - 02/13/10 08:38 PM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Little_stevie_b]
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Kevin Emmrich
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 02/24/07
Posts: 6258
Loc: Crozet, VA
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Ian: "Cheat" -- ha, ha! I think I'll try one more time before the end of February from scratch. I have new lyrics and having done it all one time should make it easier. I do realize the whole thing is a mess right now!
Stan: I hope I am in the same key as the bass (LOL!). Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Thanks for putting up with me, your visit is appreciated.
Mike Z: I think you are right here (at least I hope so!) -- it is sort of why it sounds good to me. I hear it the way I want it to be and not the way it is. That is maybe not a good trait for a pro to have, but to a delusional amateur, I think it is just fine. I will give this one more try by the end of the month, though.
Tom: Always great to have someone say they like your stuff (no matter what!!). I hope Justice is doing great in music (and in school!)
Ken: Thanks for the visit. I need to comment on your newer tunes here this weekend. You've been a welcome addition to the JPF family.
Ricki: It's a good point. I think I am going to re-sing the lead with the new lyrics as is -- and then come back and re-do the bass/percussion. I think the vox is in the "time" I want, everything else is messed up!
Steve: Thanks for the visit and comments. Your remarks are in line with what I have heard -- decent potential, execution needs work.
Thanks to all who put up with me on this one.
Kevin
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#795881 - 02/13/10 08:43 PM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Kevin Emmrich]
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Louis
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 09/01/04
Posts: 5244
Loc: Home of the Crimson Tide
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What a creative way to go about it.. Very cool. That's what I call stepping outside the box 
_________________________
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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#795884 - 02/13/10 08:54 PM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Louis]
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Alador
Serious Contributor
Registered: 12/25/09
Posts: 165
Loc: WV USA
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This has a great feel to it. Absolutely deserves the effort to rework. I hear it with a really solid chorus of hand claps and a thumping bass very staccato.
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#796489 - 02/15/10 07:20 PM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Kevin Emmrich]
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Joice Marie
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 12/07/05
Posts: 8162
Loc: Cornish Flat, NH, USA
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Hi Kevin
So -- I Can hear the Ricki Lee influence !! nice... well Now work backwards and make your drum and bass fit the melody and I think you'll have something nice.... I want to try the methodology ; ) jm
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#797180 - 02/18/10 09:24 AM
Re: Young Love
[Re: Joice Marie]
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Kevin Emmrich
Top 100 Poster
Registered: 02/24/07
Posts: 6258
Loc: Crozet, VA
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Louis: It's a box with sharp and ragged edges! Thanks for the listen.
Alador: I am going to re-do it before the RPM CD is due, I'll use your suggestions. Thanks for the visit.
Calvin: Thanks for stopping by!! How come you don't do FAWM? You'd be a natural for it.
Joice: Now work backwards and make your drum and bass fit the melody and I think you'll have something nice
Kevin
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